A little confession to start us off…

I Think I Have a Porn Problem… and I’m Not Even Sorry

I swear, I don't know what I'd do without porn.

There. I said it.

I love watching it. And yes… I flick my bean too. 💋

There's something about watching someone take control—being dominant, pushing boundaries, making someone give in—that completely grabs my attention.

Honestly, sometimes I watch certain scenes and think, I'd be really good at that.

College hazing scenes? Yeah… probably not the safest thing to admit, but apparently that's where my brain likes to wander. 😂

I watch porn almost every night.

It's basically my lovely little bedtime routine.

And if I wasn't so damn self-conscious about my body—and this Buddha belly I constantly complain about—I'd probably want to be in porn myself.

Although I'd have a pretty specific idea of what I'd want to do.

Let's just say… lately I've been much more interested in watching women.

A LOT more interested.

There's something about watching two women together that has really been getting to me lately. Maybe it's the intimacy. Maybe it's the control. Maybe it's just what I'm into.

Who knows?

Maybe that's part of what I'm still figuring out about myself.

And that's kind of the whole point of this diary, isn't it?

Admitting the things I don't always say out loud.

Even the things that make me laugh at myself afterward.

“I am worthy in ways that make the world uncomfortable.”“I am done lowering myself to be digestible.”